The day started with a scream coming from Coyote, his little feet pitter pattering with the rain crying from the clouds above. He's trying to howl again, thought Jellyfly, rolling her eyes, regretting ever giving him the name. She leaned up to unzip her pale green tent, a stench penetrating her nose immediately. She couldn't remember the last time they had taken their clothes, and their bodies, to the community bathroom or water fountain. But now it was raining! Problem solved.
Growling pierced her ears again and Jellyfly was about to yell at Coyote to stop when she realized it was her own stomach making the noise. She squinted her eyes up to the cloudy sky and thought back to her last meal. Scraps of a biscuit and eggs on Thursday for her, that slice of pizza for Coyote. Today they needed to eat.
Jellyfly continued to peer up at the sky, the dark bruises of clouds looming over black hair, when suddenly a loud POP! erupted on her right. She whipped her head around, catching a glimpse of Coyote falling to the ground, a coil of wire from the box on the roof falling from his chubby hand.
Jellyfly has always wondered what was in that weird box by their tent, and now she knew. MAGIC!
She heard yelling down below and the night sky suddenly seemed brighter against the dark of the city.
"Hey, what happened to the powe--" She heard somewhere down below. Curiosity bubbled in her stomach, but she had other things to worry about at the moment. The most important was her stupid little brother and the cool new magic box.
1.)Phrases, descriptions, imagery that is good.
ReplyDeleteStench, scream, pitter pattering, rain crying, pale green, squinted, scraps, erupted, bubbled.
“The day started with a scream coming from Coyote, his little feet pitter pattering with the rain crying from the clouds above.” (I love the de and imagery in these, really good)
2.) What kind of person do you think this character is? (Personality, physical)
Homeless female, has a little brother, has some education level considering the imagery and descriptive language used to describe things.
I think she is younger, maybe a teen, because she refers to adults as adults not just people.
3.) What do you want to know more about?
How did they get there?
Where exactly are they?
How do they survive?
What seems confusing?
What is their backstory, why do they not have parents, and how did they get a tent and such?